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Free Supernatural Fanfiction – Chapter Summary:

After a djinn attack, Analina and Sam share a quiet motel-room conversation about loss, guilt, gratitude, and finding hope after Lucifer’s defeat.

Rating: PG-13
Contains:   For emotional intensity, grief themes

CHAPTER FIFTY:  
Grateful

WE REGROUPED at a nearby motel.

Dean explained that while he was paying for gas, I’d gotten out of the truck and was walking toward oncoming traffic. Thankfully, he’d left the shop just in time to stop me. He said I struggled against him, and he had to knock me out—for fear I’d hurt myself.

It was Dean who grabbed me, not a demon. And he was never standing by the road.

“What were you seeing?” he asked.

Sam and Sera sat nearby, listening as we recounted the djinn and my hallucinations. The whole thing felt like a nightmare. With each passing minute, the details grew fuzzier, which was ironic given how vivid the images were while I was hallucinating. 

I rubbed my head. “I don’t remember everything. Demons mostly, I guess. Some fallen angels…”

I trailed off.

“But the hallucinations stopped? They’re not coming back?” Sam asked.

I shook my head. “No… Thanks, Sera. I really owe you.”

“Don’t mention it. It’s the least I can do,” she said. “I never really had a chance to help people with my gift. Most people don’t get attacked by djinn where I come from. I kept a pretty low-profile life.”

“So now what do we do?” I asked.

“Now, you’re going to get some rest,” Dean said. “And I’ll call Dad to let him know you’re okay. We need to get his truck back to him. I want to drive my car.”

Dean went into the other room to call John. Sera decided to take a shower. Sam and I sat at the table. As tired as I was, I couldn’t bring myself to sleep. The real-life nightmares remained too fresh.

“It’s a good thing you met Sera,” I said.

He smiled. “Yeah. We really owe her one.”

“Is she all right with everything that happened at the auction house?” I asked.

“Yeah, I think so,” he replied. “She’s pretty brave, actually. I… I was worried we might’ve attracted attention to her when we worked that case, but I’m pretty sure it was just some humans causing mischief.”

I studied him. “You don’t seem fully convinced.”

He sighed. “In our line of work, there are no such things as coincidences. I’m just worried, you know? It looked more like a setup than anything else. I don’t think it was meant to hurt Sera or her mom, but I don’t think it was random.”

“A setup?” I asked.

“Maybe.”

“But who would do that?”

“Beats me.”

We fell into silence.

“Hey, Analina, I wanted to ask you something,” Sam began. He paused.

I waited.

“Do you think that… I don’t know… other people can have an anam cara?”

“I guess. I can’t imagine we’re the only couple out there,” I said. “But it sounds like it’s rare. Cas said most people are usually marked as soulmates instead.”

He looked a little disappointed.

“That’s what I thought,” he mumbled.

“Look, Sam. Sera seems like a really nice girl. And she’s a Nephilim. She’s not totally ignorant of this kind of life, and I think she really likes you,” I said gently. “You two might not be an anam cara couple, but I think you should give the relationship a chance. It might be worth it. You could be soulmates—which would be pretty awesome, right?”

“Yeah,” he said, smiling. “Thanks.”

He shifted in his seat, playing with the bottle of beer on the table. Something else was bothering him.

“What is it?” I asked.

“I never really got a chance to ask you, but… um, how are you doing since we stopped Lucifer?”

“Better. I guess I was in shock or something.” I shrugged. “It’ll take time.”

“I, uh… I just wanted to say I’m sorry for what happened,” he said, his voice unsteady.

“Don’t worry about it, Sam. We stopped it. It took all of us to beat him.”

“No, I meant… I meant I should’ve been stronger. If I’d stayed in control over him, then Victory… Victory might not have died.”

I blinked in surprise. He blamed himself.

How could he think that?

Of course, I blamed myself. If I’d stayed behind, maybe she’d still be alive. But would the apocalypse have happened? Would we both be dead?

I imagined Dean blamed himself too, even if he never said it. It fit his character.

But if things had played out differently, there was no guarantee we’d still be alive and well—so to speak—like we are today.

“It just seems like everything around me doesn’t last,” Sam continued. “She even died the same day my mother and Jess did. Like I said to Sera… it’s like I’m cursed.”

I hadn’t realized what day it was. That had to be horrible. I knew his birthday had its own shadows—like when Dean went to Hell on that day. But I couldn’t imagine losing so many people on the same day, years apart.

“Sam, that’s not true. You can’t blame yourself,” I said. “Think of all the lives you saved. If you hadn’t gained control over Lucifer, Dean and I wouldn’t be here. Without you, we wouldn’t have stopped the apocalypse.”

“Well, if the angels have their way, we might not anyway,” he admitted.

“True… But honestly, Sam. I don’t blame you for any of it. You’re like the brother I never had,” I said softly. “You helped me more than you know.”

He didn’t say anything.

“You always stuck up for me. You taught me how to load and shoot a gun, how to defend myself. You were willing to sacrifice yourself for everyone without a second thought. You never give up.” I waited until he looked up at me. “Cursed or not, I’m very grateful to have you in my life.”

He smiled a little. “Thanks, Analina.”

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